This is also the likely true cause of the Batman vs Superman fight later. They all do it.”Ġ:18:34 After Superman saves Lois, a CIA operative known as Python Team Leader ( Bailey Chase) and his team arrive at the compound to observe how the General’s unit got burnt in more ways than one.Ġ:19:46 WTF!? In a Senate hearing, a “Nairomi” woman accuses Superman of killing everyone in the village!? And the lead Senator ( Holly Hunteras June Finch) believes her? What happened to Lois Lane? Or the Python Leader? Do you mean to tell me this entire film is based on bad Intel and a gullible politician?Ġ:19:58 Trivia: In American university football, Metropolis is trouncing Gotham City 58 – 0. It looks like Superman is having a blast.Ġ:17:35 “Whoo! Super hero landing! You know, that’s really hard on your knees. Anyone left alive should inquire about a refund.Ġ:17:26 After the shoddy security blokes flee, the CIA launch a drone missile at Lois and the General, but Superman ( Henry Cavill) arrives in time to prevent it from reaching the General’s compound. “It is so nice to meet me.”Ġ:15:08 The rebel General takes out Jimmy, and I don’t mean on a date.Ġ:16:04 Strangely enough, the private security experts begin shooting the General’s team, whom they were paid to protect. Jimmy should’ve known a film canister in the millennium would be as suspicious as Bill Gates with a BlackBerry. #Shicago,AmericaĠ:14:22 A dastardly looking private security guard takes hot Jimmy Olsen’s film canister and discovers a secret homing device located within. They might ask him how he feels about his country’s name being a counterfeit of a real place. Looks fishy to meĠ:11:42 In “Nairomi, Africa”, Lois Lane ( Amy Adams) meets Jimmy Olsen (a sweltering hot Michael Cassidy) for the first and last time as they go to meet some African warlord ( Sammi Rotibi as General Amajagh) for an interview. I’m still not sure how Batman could beat him to the scene in an SUV through heavy traffic.Ġ:10:27 18 months later, somewhere in the Indian ocean, two strapping young lads ( Matahi Drollet and Mormon Maitui) bring up a chunk of kryptonite bigger than Warren Buffet’s bank statement / Donald Trumps’ ego/ my diction. “Are you pointing at Heaven?”Ġ:09:58 Superman decides to arrive at this moment. Bruce should tell her “Not anymore” and move her finger so she’s pointing at Heaven. When he asks where her mother is, the child points up to the top of a mangled building. Looking at his legs, Wallace won’t stand for that.Ġ:09:32 Bruce then saves a young girl from falling metal. “Oh God! I hope they badged out before they fell from the building!”Ġ:08:56 Bruce Wayne goes to the rubble to find another employee ( Scoot McNairyas Wallace Keefe) and rescues him by lifting a girder off of his legs. That Jack never left the building in the first place is a mystery, unless it’s because he wanted to see first hand how Zack Snyder copied the Twin Towers collapsing on 9/11. Illegal AliensĠ:05:40 WTF!? Bruce’s staff are still in the building downtown, waiting for him to call and give them permission to leave? I hope their death benefits are better than their emergency policies.Ġ:08:01 Bruce arrives to see his building collapse with his employee Jack O’Dwyer ( Hugh Maguire) still in it (which he can only know through some sort of intense, psychic bond). This is exactly the sort of thing rural Brits are worried about. Well, well, well…Ġ:05:07 Back to the future, Bruce Wayne arrives in Metropolis to see General Zod’s ship, the Black Zero, trying to terra-form the earth. The worst part of their death is they won’t be able to see ExcaliburĠ:02:12 In a shot lifted directly from Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins, little Bruce plummets down a well. Unfortunately, no amount of style can make me forget I’ve seen this scene a thousand times. He lost his parents, but he can find them in the cemetery.Ġ:01:31 Interspersed with the images of orphan Bruce running away from the burial is the stylised flashback of the night his folks were murdered. So read on only if you’ve already seen Batman v Superman, or don’t plan to.Ġ:00:39 The film opens with a funeral, that of little Bruce Wayne’s parents. I shall be attacking Batman v Superman, taking on its challenges and tackling its themes to decide if it’s a win or for losers.
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